Sethual · Frustration

About to enter another Fringe in Edinburgh, my eighth. A little more planning, trying to bag as many press launches as possible. Will be doing some proper work aside from reviewing this year.

Done a lot already this Summer, it feels almost like its over. Lots of festivals, dressing up, missing out on Saturday night's sleep.

Nearly killed my jasmine by not organising for someone to water it while we were away. But it is coming back from its deathlike dried-upness with the help of lots of water and a bit of pee.

After that last post about all being great in my flat, it all went a bit pear-shaped with the landlady deciding to sell. Like everyone else in Edinburgh by the sign of all the signs signing off so many houses and shop fronts. Very annoyed at the time but it has allowed me to escape having flatmates and move into a flat with my other half.

It is a second storey one bedroom flat which has recently been refurbished. We are allowed pets, so along with his stuff yesterday MOH brought through his dog Bruno, who is currently asleep on the floor in front of me.

Have my parents record player and sound system working and some plants are adding a little life too. Have been watching Our Friends In The North with MOH, life could be a lot worse.

New flatmate is clean hurray! She did more hoovering (sorry dysoning) today than my other flatmates put together. Should perhaps be saying housemates as we don't really live in a flat. Then again its not really a house, more of a cottage. A word that adding mate to would be an innuendo too far so we won't be going down the cottaging path.

Have been gorging on the strange mix of food left behind by previous flatmate and now feel rather sick. Still the added freeness makes it slip down easier. The Ugg slipper things left behind couldn't have come at a better time the wind is really starting to rattle through my cottage.

New flatmate moving in tomorrow. Many problems changing a flatmate, replying to everyone on gumtree, interviews, changing names on everything. Some upsides, the old flatmate is flying out tomorrow and will be leaving all her food.

I am becoming convinced you actually don't need to spend any money on food. A few catering jobs with meals included and/or carry out. Skipping too. Though I haven't yet done this myself, although I know people who do it. Eating stuff that's to be thrown away makes complete sense, economically and environmentally. Also less time wasted wandering around massive supermarket wondering what to put in your trolley.

Wore my corduroy kilt today. Its a 'utility kilt' originally from Chicago via a friend from St Andrews. I feel it's an English kilt as it's in fawn corduroy like the trousers my dad and a lot of other middle-aged Englishmen wear.

Difficult to decide what to wear with it, most jackets go down too far, have a grey hoodie that goes quite well. Indoors is fine, white shirt plus possibly a waistcoat.

Very gay blog today, I promise this won't turn into some sort Trinny and Susannah crossed with Gok Wan patronising fashion advice wank.

I was wearing it today for one of my last tours, often stand on quite high objects to talk to group so had be careful when I jumped off.

Although this was last Saturday (2nd) and it immediately breaks my rule about my other half I would like to mention the fight we got in the other week. I still have the black eye (a little bit) so its still relevant.

On Saturday night we had some wine and then went out. We were heckled for holding hands, my boyfriend was already not in a good mood, so rather than ignore it he challenged the guy. They ended up exchanging blows. The guy got a bleeding nose, and I am told by my boyfriend, some serious knocks to his torso. His mate tried to join in, so I, who had been keeping out of it (I'm a pacifist) got involved as did some bar staff so we could break it up.

I think I somehow got hit breaking them up hence the black eye.

I am just coming to the end of my tour guiding stint in Edinburgh, which was although very lucrative at times, admittedly not what my parents call a proper job and also a job that becomes repetitive. This would be a good time to find a proper job. I probably won't, not right now, instead just looking for any old job in Edinburgh.

For slightly longer than the tour guiding, I've been living in the same flat or (technically) mews cottage. It is in a great location, with reasonable rent. However I don't know how long I want to continue sharing with other people.

My relationship seems to be fine. If I do bring back this blog thing full time though I am going to avoid talking about that as even I do think that certain things should be private and indeed it does involve someone else without their permission.

Shot in the dark, but does anyone know any good jobs in Edinburgh? And do you feel you are in a proper job?

I have barely locked any of my blog, recently my boyfriend discovered them, but its fine. Should be more bothered about parents/prospective employers viewing it. However I can't bring myself to block it, as it is all true and I'm not ashamed of any of it. Some of its gross and quite a few things are funny, but none of it is inherently wrong.

Its also a partial record of this rather interesting year. 2009 is great. I'm having a Christmas party in two weeks, but really its not to celebrate Christmas, more 2009, I wouldn't say I'm a better person, but I am more happy with my life, which is a good thing.

If you are in Edinburgh and want to come to my party on 14th, just message me. There will be lots of mince pies and mulled homebrew.

So this seems to come up when I google my name. Not sure thats such a good thing.

Anyway haven't posted in a while. In a way this journal is kind of over as it was largely a way to vent my horny single misadventures.

I am growing up, seeing someone and while lj was fun for catharsis, it was kind of a bit wrong.

Sometimes we think too much before, I'm going to use the rather wanky term communicate because this applies to speech and text, we communicate.

But other times we do communciate, well sort of a bit like, what we, ok we sounds shit but its better than one, you maybe? You sounds like a bit of an imperative, our real thoughts.

Ok so I think its better to think first otherwise you start just spouting bollocks, although this is perhaps because I've caught myself in a rut of introspection, as i try and put down my real thoughts.

So, what have I achieved this Fringe, have I made new friends, not sexually, so fail there, the shows I'm involved with: success, but I'm not especially giving a shit anymore. I'm trying to relive past Fringes, like the sad (small c) conservative (see small c) and indeed c has played an important part in Fringes past. Worse things happen at c. Still tonight was fun, a Fringe night out, even if I failed monumentally to get to the fag-clubs before they shut.

Will post more festival related fun when it happens, so possibly never.